memorable moments, sightings, and stories

i thought it would be fun to capture some of the crazy things we've seen and experienced here. in some cases, we did not actually witness the event, but it was worth noting as the source of the story was trusted enough to believe that it actually happened. ok here goes, starting with the photo above:

• pig roasts (or preparation) on the side of the road (seen on some total boondoggle to find a property we had listed for sale in the mountains behind Cabrera)
• roadside butcher stand near El Limon where the butcher's helper had a thick piece of wood in hand, a 200 pound pig was bracing itself for the deadly whack, and clients in the car are like "oh my!"
• just down the road from the pig, there was a dead horse sprawled into the road, having been hit by a car in the night probably. another "oh geez" from the clients in the back.
• the dead horses on the side of the road that are lit on fire as the means to "remove" the horse. i mean how else is the horse going to be removed....there's no public works group that will come by and haul it away. i guess you can call it a cremation.... i think we have seen at least 3 of these since we have been here on the stretch of road between Cabarete and Sosua. the smell is revolting.
• the guy on the motorbike with an 8 foot ladder. his head was between the rungs. WOW, talk about a gruesome way to go if he crashes.
• the 5 Dominicans on a motorbike, 2 or 3 of which are of course children between the ages of 1 (maybe even younger) to 8 years. no helmets. who could afford a helmet here? (this is no longer a head turning event, as you see it almost every day)
• the motos driving the wrong way down the road at you. this still elicits some swear words from us and wonder around intelligence levels.
• to get to Santo Domingo, after having come from Moca, you have to CROSS the highway to get on to it. there is no on-ramp or anything logical like that. there is barely enough room for you to sit in the middle after you have made it across the northbound side and need to wait patiently as the southbound frees up.
• people throwing trash out of the windows of their car, on the beach, on the road. very frustrating and hard for a person from the 1st world to comprehend.
• nicely standing in line at Janet's or Dick's and being cut by Dominicans , even if there is hardly even enough space for 1 person between you and the person in front of you. THIS is another difficult thing to handle. i gave some HUGE lip to a woman who once did that to me at Janet's - all in English of course where the effect was lost. the disgusted look on my was not lost however.
• the 85 steps it takes to deposit a check into your bank here. WHAT are they doing in all those steps? it literally takes more than 5 minutes to deposit a check.
• the bank teller counting out the STACKS of pesos brought in by the street money changers (in garbage bags by the way) INSTEAD of using the automated counting machine. does he think the machine will be WRONG?
• the guards outside the banks with serious GUNS. perhaps they should consider not permitting you to go into the bank with a GUN...it's common to note the gun tucked into the side of the pants of the men in front of you who will wait have to go through their 85 steps before yours.
• Sheila, Willowe, and Jesse picking up THREE HUNDRED PESOS from the ATM upon arrival. Um, that's a little less than $10, minus the $5 their bank charged them you for the international ATM usage, makes it a net of $5. we all got a huge laugh out of that!
• family members requiring a cut of the commission for selling THEIR family's property. we have experienced this twice. talk about stabbing someone in the back. that's like a Dominican Shakespearian moment - greed and deceit personified.
• politicians have been known to pay off voters who would vote for their competition by giving them 1000 pesos (about $30) to hold on to their cedula card, an ID card, on election day and therefore prevent them from being able to cast their vote. (we did not witness this but heard it from a reputable source)
• Wilson, the maintenance guy at our old condo complex, asking to get back the screwdrivers that the gardener used to try to pry open our balcony door to rob us. as Wilson did not find it odd that they were on our deck, could he have possibly been in on the attempted robbery? well, the gardener took the full hit and was carted off to jail...Wilson stayed on only to have his fate soon sealed (see below)
• Wilson rigging up the Haitian village behind the complex to run off our complex's generator. charging the Haitians and pocketing the money for 2+ YEARS. Wilson carted off and questioned by police, who somehow let him go home for the night with their intention of continuing the conversation the next day. Wilson ran off to Santo Domingo and was rumored to now own a colmado (small supermarket). those poor condo owners who paid for all that electricity for like 200 Haitians without even knowing it. they are the real owners of that colmado.
• Wilson getting into the complex's pool to clean it. 2 offenses there. a) you are the maintenance guy - um, no going into the pool. EVER. b) no going into the pool especially when all you have on are your tighty whities....
• the Haitian worker at Blue Fish swimming in the complex's pool before the pool was functioning and the water was ALGAE GREEN. his friend nearby drinking water straight from the hose. that is how you get a low average life span.
• the Haitian worker asked to come in and clean up water that had seeped under the door into one of the Blue Fish condos. in he came with his mop with a big GLOB of mud on the end of the mop. swinging it wildly around in his cleaning, mud is flying everywhere. perhaps this is his way of ensuring job security? oh the frustation. what can you expect from someone who has never in his life come anywhere close to being in a place as nice as that? sad.
• this one comes from Yohanna - there was a guy learning to kitesurf and died while doing it - likely from a seizure. well, after getting pulled out of the water, he was laid on the beach until the coroner could come. 4 hours pass while his body lays on the beach in the blazing sun while the cops, who are too hot to stand by the body, hang out under the palm trees 30 yards away. glad i missed that sight on the beach.
• vendors on the beach still offering me jewelry, CDs, hair extensions, whatever, even though they have now seen me for 2+ years. do they really think today is THE DAY i will buy something? guess so.
• Susie says to waiter, "what's in a Bar Fly?" waiter replies "I don't know" and makes no move or attempt to find out, just stands there. ok, ok, service is not their best skill.
• going to preview a property before showing it to a client and seeing an 18 year old Dominican woman (girl?), hanging out, half dressed in the bed in the master bedroom. owner is usually a 40- something year old German, Italian, or whatever (not Dominican). we have seen this a handful of times, and even have seen a Dominican Toy Boy once with the mother-in-law (his mother) living on the property too - in the shed with a dirt floor. NICE way to treat your mother-in-law.
• the $8.90 ten ounce can of mixed nuts. i think i'll stick to bananas as a snack, thank you.